Photographer of the Week: Peter Gaudiano

Based in Gothenburg, Sweden, Peter Gaudiano likes to photograph people, and his portfolio includes some striking portraits of women.

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Alternative and fetish styles are also in his repertoire, which was good news for us and for Kandi von Kane, but possibly not quite such good news for her fellow model Evil de Nets.

Here’s Kandi:

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Here she is from another angle:

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She’s also a burlesque performer, half of an act called the Rebelettes. And her partner, Swedish Siren, has been known to smack her bottom on stage.

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You’d think she’d have made a wiser choice of panties, wouldn’t you?

Evil de Nets is a burlesquer too, as well as a roller derby girl.

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I don’t actually think that Evil’s evil… but she’s obviously been naughty.

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She doesn’t seem too happy with Kandi’s method of dealing with her. Looks as if Kandi will have to find some way to keep her quiet…

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If you are interested in Peter’s work, please visit his website.

Lay Your Love On Me

Meet the Swedish electropop group BWO (formerly known as Bodies Without Organs), who were formed in 2004 and split up in 2010.

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The two-men-one-girl lineup included, to the right, Alexander Bard, whom we have met before as part of Army of Lovers, and, to the left, Marina Schiptjenko. Have another look at her:

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In 2008 they released the song ‘Lay Your Love On Me’ as the prospective Swedish entry for the Eurovision Song Contest. (They lost out to Charlotte Perelli.) The video, directed by Markus Johnson, shows the band taking a train journey – but the locomotive is also a toy train in a well-equipped playroom occupied by three squabbling children, who then progressively morph into the three band members. The crisis point comes with the arrival of Mom, and in case there’s any doubt about what’s going to happen, Mom appears to be a dominatrix…

But there’s a slight problem for us. When naughty adult children fight, they all get spanked, whereas we only particularly want to see that happen to one of the band members.

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She even carries on singing whilst being spanked!

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Here’s the video. I’ve timed it to cut in just before the start of the relevant section, but be warned: there is no way to see all of the F/F spanking without also witnessing some F/M.

Applause for the band, please, and especially Marina!

There Isn’t a Spanking Scene in… Don Caesar de Bazan

In seventeenth-century Madrid, Don Caesar de Bazan has gambled away all his money and is only saved from the reprisals of a nasty crowd when the gypsy street singer Maritana intercedes and pacifies the mob. The penniless Don Caesar decides that the only pleasure left to him is duelling – but unfortunately it is carnival, and all fighting is banned for a week by royal edict, on pain of death. He is arrested and condemned, but is visited shortly before his execution by a royal minister, Don Jose, with a proposition: he is asked to marry an unknown bride, and thereby make her the Countess de Bazan; a pardon, timed to arrive an hour after the execution, will then ensure that she has a widowhood untainted by shame. The reason for this, unknown to Don Caesar, is that the King has fallen in love with Maritana, but her lowly status makes it impossible for her to become his mistress. Don Caesar’s misfortune offers a quick and convenient way of elevating her to the aristocracy.

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Don Caesar agrees and, with the clock ticking away the last minutes of his life, he marries the heavily veiled Maritana. He is then taken away to meet his death, while Don Jose brings Maritana back to meet her new aristocratic in-laws. She is startled by the sound of offstage gunfire, but doesn’t realize what it is: the firing squad executing her new husband. Later Don Jose deceives her into thinking that Don Caesar is still alive, and tries to pass off the King, incognito, as him. But the real Don Caesar really isn’t dead: he somehow managed to remove the bullets before the soldiers shot him, and feigned death to avoid embarrassing them. Now he has come back in disguise to claim his bride, protected by the pardon that was less posthumous than Don Jose and the King intended it to be…

Don Caesar de Bazan was a French play of the Romantic era, completely devoid of any hint of spanking. It was written in 1844 by Philippe Dumanoir and Adolphe d’Ennery, and swiftly translated into English by Gilbert Abbott a’Beckett and Mark Lemon. Before 1844 was done, it had been staged in both London and America, and its popularity held up through the nineteenth century and well into the twentieth. It became the basis of an 1872 opera, and there were several film versions, notably The Spanish Dancer (1923), with Pola Negri as Maritana.

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One sign of that popularity is the fact that two quite separate productions opened in New York in the same month, September 1901 – and this has some bearing on our story. The one that’s relevant to us was mounted by the actor-manager Edwin Rostell’s company, and after a few weeks in New York it was due to depart on a tour of the south. We can still trace some of the bookings, and therefore the route: Staunton, Virginia (September 30); Houston, Texas (November 18); and Ardmore in the Indian territory that would later become the state of Oklahoma (December 4).

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But for the New York opening, Rostell needed something that would make the play stand out against its rival. He needed a splash, a sensation. He needed – a spanking scene!

It seems to have been late in the rehearsal process that the existence of the other production came to Rostell’s attention. The play had been cast, the actors had procured their costumes (at their own expense) and the performances were being honed. Maritana was to be played by Agnes Lane,

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who had until recently been a junior member of Sarah Bernhardt’s company, and took the role with Rostell because it promoted her to leading lady status. All that began to slip away from her when Rostell came to her with instructions to amend her overall performance, and with a particular script change at the end of the first act…

Rostell had consulted with the tour’s financial backer, though as Miss Lane later told it, she evidently didn’t believe any such person really existed. In any event, the decision was to make some last-minute alterations so that New York audiences, who would surely only want to see Don Caesar de Bazan once that season, would choose the Rostell production over its rival. To that end, Miss Lane was told to play Maritana in a more ‘soubrettish’ manner – in other words, pert and sexy. And there was to be a bit of ‘playful business’ added at the moment when she hears the guns of the firing squad and jumps up with a cry of ‘What’s that?’ As rehearsed, the actors would then have frozen into an end-of-act tableau. But now the plan was for Don Jose to take Maritana across his knee and spank her until the curtain fell.

It seems a bizarrely gratuitous interpolation, but I guess the rationale must have been that Don Jose’s plan depends utterly on Maritana not finding out that the gunfire was the sound of her husband’s execution. When she says, ‘What’s that?’, the one thing she must not be allowed to have is a straight and truthful answer. So he has to distract her somehow, and chooses an unorthodox way of doing so.

I can’t say I find that entirely convincing, and back in 1901 Miss Lane certainly wasn’t buying it. She didn’t think it was ‘playful business’. She thought it was indecent:

‘The mysterious and nameless backer with money wanted to spoil that beautiful tableau at the end of the first act by having me in a short skirt stretched across a man’s knee and getting spanked.’

It is worth pointing out that in 1901, a skirt might have been considered short if it exposed her ankles. She had no problem with that: after all, it was in character for a gypsy girl, and she’d paid for the costume herself. But she absolutely drew the line at being spanked. Upon refusal, she was promptly fired from the company.

There’s no record of who replaced her in the role, but obviously somebody did, because the production went ahead. Nor is there any direct evidence that they went ahead with the plan to spank Maritana, though after an actress had been dismissed for declining to play the scene, one of the essential requirements for her successor must surely have been a willingness to be spanked onstage: having dropped the actress, they couldn’t then drop the business. But if Rostell and his backer (if real) thought that a spanking scene would create the kind of theatrical sensation that was to happen nearly four decades later with My Dear Children, they were mistaken: they simply didn’t get that kind of publicity.

But what they did get was a lawsuit from Agnes Lane. She didn’t dispute her sacking or seek reinstatement in the company, but what she wanted from them was reimbursement of the money she’d invested in her costumes for a role she would now never play. And that was a story picked up in newspaper syndication across America. ‘Actress declines to be spanked’ read the headlines. Agnes Lane went down in theatrical and spanking history, and, on the road with the play, Edwin Rostell was left to reflect upon the maxim that there is no such thing as bad publicity.

Photographer of the Week: Tamie Acosta

Volatile Beauty Photography, based in Atlanta, Georgia, is Tamie Acosta’s firm. Her work often combines classic pin-up with dark, grotesque imagery that we can illustrate with a seasonal husband-and-wife shoot from December 2015. Looks like they’re putting up the decorations ready for the big day.

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But the no-good husband seems to have his own ideas about what to hang on the tree.

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Things don’t get any better for his poor wife.

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And now the worst comes to the worst: a Christmas spanking on her bare bottom!

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A Volatile Beauty model will often be very heavily made-up:

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Maybe not always this heavily:

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Don’t worry, it does wash off.

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And Tamie seems especially drawn to one particular pose:

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But often in a more extreme and unstable form:

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So dedicated is Tamie to that shot that she has even been known to assume the position herself:

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And of course, it was also how the unfortunate wife got her Christmas spanking!

Tamie did a more conventional spanking shoot a few months later, starring burlesque performer and tarot reader Victoria Rose…

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… and Jenna Pye:

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The setting was a Fifties salon, with Victoria as the client and Jenna as the beautician.

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Unfortunately, the jiggle machine is out of order. There’s only one thing for it: Jenna will have to use manual methods!

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And it seems Victoria isn’t too put out about getting a sting in the tail, if it also means getting an even shapelier tail!

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If you are interested in Tamie’s work, please visit the Volatile Beauty website.

Bawdy and the Borderline

Last time we took a detailed look at the making of the Danish comedy Takt og Tone i Himmelsengen, which climaxes with a somewhat stupendous spanking scene.

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It was released on February 4, 1972, with a publicity strapline that described it as ‘festlig, fræk, forrygende, farverig’ (joyous, naughty, terrific, colorful). Whereas the version marketed in Britain and America, where a title like Takt og Tone i Himmelsengen would probably scare off audiences, got an even more enticing label apparently arising from a chain of tortuous free association, leading from the original title’s Himmelsengen (four-poster bed) to night-time, and thence to the 1001 Arabian Nights, to finally arrive (perhaps via Turkey) at 1001 Danish Delights.

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And what a dumb title that is! It’s a promise the actual movie could never possibly fulfil, given that it only runs for 88 minutes – meaning a Danish delight roughly every five seconds! But my point is that, in the English-speaking market, the film’s declared appeal is encapsulated in just one word, delights, whereas in Denmark it rests on four different adjectives, even if they are all brought to you by the letter ‘F’. It could be almost symbolic.

Here’s the film’s poster:

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The design, combining caricatures of the principal characters with line drawings of key scenes, has clear similarities with other Danish film posters of the preceding decade, not all of them for movies made by the same production company. There are dozens of them, but here are two not entirely random examples:

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So the poster defines Takt og Tone as fundamentally belonging to the same genre: nudity notwithstanding, it’s not a sex film but a mainstream comedy, on the risqué side – Denmark being a culture which had, since at least the late 1950s, taken a more relaxed attitude to screen skin than Britain or America or even Germany. It has a coherent story that involves sex, a subject that was of especial interest to audiences during the sexual revolution of the Sixties and early Seventies, but the story isn’t just an excuse for sex. And it’s not the only example of this kind of movie in Danish cinema of the period.

So let’s take another film, this one released on March 3, 1972, exactly four weeks after Takt og Tone. It was in fact the very next acting job for Axel Strøbye, the Takt og Tone spanker, and like its predecessor, it was later exported to America and Britain. In Denmark, it was known as Rektor på Sengekanten (Bedside Headmaster), but it was distributed to the English-speaking world as Danish Bed and Board.

The comedy’s starting point is the progressive trend towards co-education in high schools. Krabbesögård School, based in a picturesque chateau, has just appointed its youngest ever headmaster, Max Mikkelsen, and he wants to admit girl pupils as well as boys. He faces opposition from the school board, who are convinced that this will only lead to an outbreak of permissiveness; there are grumbles about ‘Sodom and Gomorrah’. And in view of the compromising position they find Mikkelsen in here, they may, just may, have a point:

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But they are persuaded to back the co-education proposal, so long as the headmaster raises the 100,000 kroner needed to pay for the necessary new facilities. Secretly, of course, they believe this will be utterly impossible.

The inventive head devises a suitable money-making scheme: during the summer vacation, he turns the school into a hotel, run by the school’s staff and boys. Among the former is the chambermaid Jytte (Susanne Jagd):

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That was her lying down with Mikkelsen earlier, and true to form, she contributes to various naughty goings-on with the hotel guests which we really don’t need to explore in detail. What matters is that the hotel does cracking business, but still only raises 50,000 kroner. It seems that co-education at Krabbesögård is destined to be a thing of the none-too-immediate future.

Enter Mr Bosted, the Danish Minister of Culture (the role played by Axel Strøbye), a supporter of Mikkelsen’s progressive agenda, and incidentally his immediate predecessor as the school’s headmaster. Wanting to end the tradition of gender segregation, he persuades the government to put up matching funding, and an intake of girls duly arrives on the first day of the new school year. Bosted graces the opening ceremony with his presence, and Jytte serves drinks to the honored guests, including the still sceptical school board.

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But the drinks have been laced with aphrodisiacs, so the start of co-education does indeed see the school turn into a new Sodom and Gomorrah. But not involving the teenagers, of either sex, because they weren’t the ones given drinks. The film ends with a frisky melee as the drug takes its effect on the assembled bigwigs while the Minister tries to make his speech, including a moment when one of the school board members, played by Karl Stegger, puts Jytte across his knee:

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It has to be said that, compared with the climactic and narratively indispensable spanking scene in Takt og Tone, this is a completely incidental spanking: it’s attractive, especially since it’s given on the seat of Jytte’s panties, but it’s not something that’s been telegraphed earlier or moves the story onwards.

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It is simply part of the orgiastic ending that compromises and embarrasses the reactionaries who opposed Mikkelsen earlier in the film. Score one for co-education, and one for free love too!

The movie is part of a series of comedies, the Sengekanten (or ‘Bedside’) films which ran from 1970 until 1976 and were each themed around a different professional situation: as well as the bedside headmaster, there was a bedside dentist, bedside sailors, even, bizarrely, a bedside motorway. There was a ‘repertory company’ of regular and recurring actors, among them Karl Stegger and Susanne Jagd, playing the same types but nominally different characters. And if you know anything about British comedy of the same period, that format might sound just a little familiar.

Danish Bed and Board may come across, because of its bawdy humor and occasional nudity, as a sex film. But really it’s much more like a Carry On film.

The Carry On films ran for twenty years (1958-78) and went through various formats, including a run of glorious genre parodies in the 1960s, before settling down to basic British bawdy in the ’70s. During this bit of the series, the only flirtation with M/F spanking was in Carry On Girls (1973), about the ructions in a seaside town when entrepreneurs try to drum up tourism by holding a beauty contest. One of the contestants, Ida Downs (Wendy Richard, best known in the Seventies as Miss Brahms in Are You Being Served?), gets playfully smacked on the bottom by Sid James, several times.

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Later, the Admiral (Peter Butterworth), a hotel resident akin to the Major in Fawlty Towers, has a go himself, and she tells him forcefully that he’s a dirty old man.

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‘Cheeky little thing,’ says the Admiral afterwards; ‘I’d like to put her across me knee.’ And the hotel manageress’s reaction accurately indicates that, regrettably, this is not a remark that’s going anywhere near fruition.

But even so, this does give us a meaningful point of comparison for the Danish movies. To develop the analogy, let’s consider another British comedy of the time that doesn’t contain any spanking at all, neither in word nor deed, but does revolve around women’s bottoms: Ooh… You Are Awful (1972), a vehicle for the comedian Dick Emery.

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He plays Charlie Tully, a crook whose partner in crime, Reggie, stashed their ill-gotten gains in a Swiss bank and then inconveniently got himself murdered by the mob. Charlie needs to know the account number if he is to access the loot, and Reggie has noted it down in an unusual way: as a set of four tattoos on the four bottoms of his four girlfriends. Which means that the absurd story is all about Charlie’s quest to get a look at the bare bottoms of actresses Cheryl Kennedy…

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Julie Crosthwaite…

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Liza Goddard…

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and Anna Gilchrist.

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The film is relevant here because the following year it was remade in Denmark as Mig og Mafiaen (Me and the Mafia), with the Dick Emery role taken by none other than the uncrowned king of Danish movie spanking, Dirch Passer. This time, he doesn’t get to do any spanking, and the four bottom-viewing situations are identical to the British original:

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So these are a British and a Danish bawdy comedy that are not just examples of demonstrably the same genre, but are also, in effect, the same film!

But the two countries weren’t always so exactly on the same page, and a way of illustrating the difference is to start with where they overlap. Here’s a nice shot from Carry On Loving (1970):

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And one from Carry On England (1976):

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Meanwhile, in Denmark:

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That’s part of Lone Hertz’s precision reverse to camera immediately after being spanked in Takt og Tone, and, seen purely as a piece of screen imagery, it’s not significantly different from the Carry On examples. The difference doesn’t lie in what it is but where it stands on a scale. A nice, big close-up of the seat of a girl’s panties is about as far as the Carry On films would usually go, whereas Takt og Tone also features bare bottoms:

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In other words, the Danish bawdy comedies are the same type of film, only with more nudity: notwithstanding the unusual case of the Dick Emery film, the scale of what’s acceptable, what’s naughty and what’s obscene tended to be calibrated differently in the two countries.

So when Takt og Tone and Danish Bed and Board were exported, they became a different kind of film. Look at how the Takt og Tone poster was adapted for the German version, where it was called the vernacular equivalent of Professor Bumske’s Love School:

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As well as the rather crass new title, there’s one key amendment:

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That misrepresentation of the spanking scene – unchanged in the actual print of the film that was shown in Germany – makes my core point: films that were mainstream comedies inside Denmark were marketed abroad primarily as soft porn, offering one particular mode of ‘delight’ rather than the range of ‘festlig, fræk, forrygende, farverig’ appeal it had for the Danes. The boundary between porn and mainstream wasn’t a fixed and universal one, but a matter of where the different national cultures preferred to draw it. The same film could be two different things depending on where you saw it.

The amended German version of the drawing also raises a question. If bare bottoms in Denmark occupied roughly the same place on the ‘titillation scale’ as panties did in Britain, then why do the films show girls being spanked on their panties and not their bare bottoms?

Leaving aside the obvious practical point that, with a bare-bottom spanking, it’s harder to do a retake if anything goes wrong the first time round, the reason has to do with purpose and personnel. We’ve already seen how the spanking in Takt og Tone moves the story onward, and this is usually the case with such scenes, in all mainstream narrative media, everywhere: it’s quite uncommon to find a totally inconsequential spanking like the one at the end of Danish Bed and Board. This means that the girl who gets spanked will have to carry her share of the story, and will therefore have been cast at least partly for her acting ability, rather than merely because she looks pretty (with or without clothes). You have only to look at the run of reaction shots in Takt og Tone to see the richness of the performance Lone Hertz is giving as a soundly spanked young woman:

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Pursuing the Carry On analogy will help us here. In particular, let’s take a closer look at Carry On England, a film which, if you only know it from the one screenshot shown so far, you’ll be surprised to learn is set in 1940. The location is a military base crewed by soldiers of both sexes. After they are segregated by their commanding officer, the boys and girls both independently decide to tunnel between the two dormitories, and go looking for some naughty fun – which they never get to have, because with two tunnels they keep missing one another. The sequence features some nice rear views of some distinctly non-1940s panties as the girls crawl through the tunnels:

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(Patricia Franklin there was obviously taking no chances!)

But not all of the girls are given the same degree of exposure. They’re all in their night attire:

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But the two wearing pajama bottoms as well as tops are the principal young actresses in the film, Diane Langton and Judy Geeson, whereas the other three are the eye candy.

Now set the exposure scale back to ‘Danish’ and think of Lone Hertz and Susanne Jagd as the equivalents of Judy Geeson and Diane Langton. There’s nudity around them, in the girls who have been cast for the purpose, but they themselves aren’t required to participate. Even at the very end of Takt og Tone, as Lone’s character undresses for her wedding night, what we are shown is the clothes being thrown at her husband from off camera, followed by a ‘nearly nude’ moment witnessed by the Dowager Baroness on the surveillance system, but with modesty preserved by a carefully folded towel:

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And that’s why, when the moment comes, the actresses are not spanked on their bare bottoms, but their panties: it’s the same, in ‘Danish’ terms, as the pajama bottoms in Carry On England, putting the spanking scenes, bawdy though they are, decisively on the mainstream side of the borderline.

We ‘Dude’ It

In 1952, John Henderson wrote a comedy, No More Homework, in which a teenage troublemaker causes problems for her school play, and her irate father threatens to march her out onto the stage and give her a public spanking in front of the entire assembled audience. Regrettably, she ends up getting a lesser punishment involving her allowance (or future lack thereof), but Henderson didn’t disappoint when he wrote We ‘Dude’ It five years later.

The comedy starts with a situation not unlike that of Gold Mine in the Sky: a Texas ranch is inherited by Doris Meacham, a middle-aged lady from New York, who decides to turn it into a dude ranch – in other words, a themed holiday camp for tourists rather than a working ranch. The advertisements have already gone out before she discovers two important facts: the ranch staff absolutely hate the idea, and the ranch itself has no horses or cattle whatsoever. It’s too late to change the plans, though, because the guests start to arrive. One of them is going to have an uncomfortable time at the ranch…

Ruth Mayes spanks Nedra Whittle at Oakley High School, Idaho, on April 19, 1962

Ruth Mayes spanks Nedra Whittle at Oakley High School, Idaho, on April 19, 1962

Unable to get any other vacation, for reasons that will become apparent, the self-absorbed movie star Carla Vayne arrives with an entourage of three. The others are: her long-suffering secretary, Miss Padgett; Yvette, ‘the cutest little French maid who ever came out of Brooklyn’, dressed in ‘a very pert maid’s costume’; and her teenage daughter Cynthia Vayne, known as ‘Stinkey’. The script indicates that Stinkey is ‘dressed a bit younger than her years’, calling for ‘bobby sox and rather short dresses’. As for her personality: ‘She is spoiled, destructive and utterly devoid of good points.’ Which means that, from our perspective, she has one very good point: not what she is or what she does, but what she deserves

Bend over, Cindy Bentz, for your 1972 spanking from Carol Busch, at Fairfax High School, South Dakota

Bend over, Cindy Bentz, for your 1972 spanking from Carol Busch, at Fairfax High School, South Dakota

It soon becomes clear that Stinkey is utterly out of control. Hence the vacation difficulties: the Vayne party can’t stay anywhere for more than two days before her behavior results in a request to leave. In the course of the first act, she causes chaos in the kitchen, pitches one man into a horse-trough, shoots another in the rear with a bow and arrow and steals rocks from one of the other guests, who appears to be some kind of a geologist. That last may sound like the least of her crimes. But don’t underestimate its plot significance. There appears to be oil in that thar ranch, and Stinkey’s rock theft means the evidence gets into the hands of someone who knows what it means – but has no scruples. She really is causing a lot of trouble…

The 1966-67 senior play at Yarbrough High School, Oklahoma

The 1966-67 senior play at Yarbrough High School, Oklahoma

The harassed ranch staff try to think of ways to contain her, distract her, amuse her or just plain scare her into docility. They talk of faking an overnight Indian attack. The real native American on the strength talks of reviving his people’s ancient custom of scalping. Well, I guess that has some of the right letters…

Dateline 19159-60, at Fairfax High School, Missouri: the earliest known spanking photo from the play

Dateline 1959-60, at Fairfax High School, Missouri: the earliest known spanking photo from the play

The fake Indian attack takes place, giving Miss Padgett the opportunity to place a publicity story with the newspapers and ensuring that, for once, Stinkey’s level of boisterousness is on a par with everyone else’s. Afterwards, she has one regret: ‘Aw gee! Nobody got killed.’ She continues her career of mayhem by digging up the flowerbeds, but she eventually overreaches herself, with a predictable outcome…

Bette Bader turns Vicki Busch over her knee at Underwood High School, North Dakota, in the school year 1967-68

Bette Bader turns Vicki Busch over her knee at Underwood High School, North Dakota, in the school year 1967-68

The miscalculation concerns the long-suffering Miss Padgett. The weapon is a pin. The occasion is when Stinkey sees Padgett bending over. The outcome is that Padgett leaps high into the air, then decides her time of suffering has come to an end – and Stinkey’s has just begun, in the same general area.

The 1966-67 senior play at Perrin-Whitt High School, Texas

The 1966-67 senior play at Perrin-Whitt High School, Texas

PADGETT: You! You little fiend!

(She grabs her and hauls her to a chair where she sits and pulls a protesting Stinkey over her knees, and spanks her.)

PADGETT: That’s the last straw! That’s for Beverly Hills – Lake Tahoe – L.A. – Frisco – Houston – Dallas – and Acapulco!

(As she punctuates each place, Stinkey howls and kicks her legs.)

Linda Howell is spanked by Diana Brown at Lucas Luray High School, Kansas, on April 21, 1967

Linda Howell is spanked by Diana Brown at Lucas Luray High School, Kansas, on April 21, 1967

CARLA: Stop! Stop, Padgett! You’re killing my little darling! She’s not mean – she’s just a little high-spirited!

(Padgett rises and dumps Stinkey on the floor.)

PADGETT: High-spirited, my foot! She’s a no-good, spoiled, sadistic little brat! And I quit!

CARLA: What?

PADGETT: From here on in, you can do your own dirty work! I’ve been nurse, private eye, baby sitter, heart-mender and what-all long enough. You can take this fugitive from the human race and fight your way back to Beverly Hills alone!

CARLA: Padgett! Padgett, don’t leave me alone with Stinkey!

At this point, Stinkey makes her second wrong move. ‘Come on, Padgett,’ she says. ‘You know Mother’s too old to look after me!’ And that’s a major mistake, because Carla isn’t only Vayne by name but vain by nature.

(Carla turns slowly to face her daughter.)

CARLA: What – was – that – you – said?

STINKEY: I said you were too old to look after me.

(Carla strides down to grab her.)

CARLA: Too old, huh? Why, you little varmint, I’ll show you a real Texas hidin’!

(Stinkey yells as Carla drags her off by the ear.)

STINKEY (off): Yeowwww! Pad-gett! She’s killing me!

PADGETT (off): Good.

So Stinkey gets spanked a second time, and three things tell us that it’s much worse for her than the first one. Carla characterizes it as a ‘Texas’ hiding, and in case we didn’t already know the saying, earlier in the play we were reminded that everything’s big in Texas. The import of the remark is that, if Stinkey thinks what she’s just had was a sound spanking, she ain’t felt nothing yet. And that’s confirmed almost at once when she calls for help to the very woman who administered the first spanking!

The scene at Marietta High School, Minnesota, on April 22, 1965

The scene at Marietta High School, Minnesota, on April 22, 1965

But the real clincher is that it happens offstage, which means it’s mainly left to our imagination – and what we imagine is likely to be a lot more fearsome than anything we might actually see, or any actress be able to endure, if the second spanking were also done onstage.

There is only so far that you can legitimately go in thinking about an offstage scene, but when the playwright invites us to use our imagination, maybe we’re entitled. Exactly what we imagine will be determined by many things, some of them personal… such as the fact that we, unlike most general audiences likely to have seen the play, have an uncommonly strong interest in spanking scenes and their exact detail! But other variable factors will not be individually idiosyncratic: what we can think about what happens offstage will be defined in part by what we have seen onstage, and some elements are bound to differ between productions.

But let’s start reasoning from one solid textual fact: Stinkey is very quick to start calling for Miss Padgett’s help. There’s a good theatrical reason for that, to avoid taking the focus away from the stage itself for too long. But what it means is that the severity of the offstage spanking isn’t determined by its duration: Miss P. gave Stinkey at least seven smacks (for seven place names), but Stinkey already knows this is worse long before her mother can possibly have got that far. So the logical inference is that Carla is spanking very, very hard.

That’s quite consistent with what Carla said about Texas, and in some productions it’s got to be the whole story.

Debbie Coston makes Zena Franklin's hotpants hotter at House High School, New Mexico, in 1975-76

Debbie Coston makes Zena Franklin’s hotpants hotter at House High School, New Mexico, in 1975-76

Karla Holley is spanked by Brenda Head in the 1979-80 production at Tyrone High School, Oklahoma

Karla Holley is spanked by Brenda Head in the 1979-80 production at Tyrone High School, Oklahoma

It's not clear why Launa Moffatt should have a black eye in this shot from Dewey High School, Oklahoma, in 1978-79, but Lisa Jarrett is helping to turn another part of her red

It’s not clear why Launa Moffatt should have a black eye in this shot from Dewey High School, Oklahoma, in 1978-79, but Lisa Jarrett is helping to turn another part of her red

But since the script specifies that Stinkey is dressed in a short skirt, there’s another possible dimension. If the onstage spanking was like this,

Frankston High School, Texas, 1965-66: Toni Lewis is spanked by Judy Folmar

Frankston High School, Texas, 1965-66: Toni Lewis is spanked by Judy Folmar

then there’s another obvious way in which the offstage one could be worse. And when Stinkey was spanked onstage on the seat of her panties, as happened at Kit Carson High School, Colorado, in 1974…

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Well, maybe that’s a thought too far in a play that was mainly performed by junior and senior high school classes!

The play had a long life of nearly three decades, proving especially popular in the various rancher states, and most of all, for unknown reasons, in Oklahoma.

Oklahoma, 1966: Teresa Norman spanks Joyce File at Fargo High

Oklahoma, 1966: Teresa Norman spanks Joyce File at Fargo High

Oklahoma, 1967: a spanking at Marietta High on April 22

Oklahoma, 1967: a spanking at Marietta High on April 22

Oklahoma 1968: Janie Chambless spanks Connie Bruce at Davis High School

Oklahoma, 1982: Anita Morris spanks Christy Ballard at Alex High

Oklahoma, 1982: Anita Morris spanks Christy Ballard at Alex High

And it was in Oklahoma that the latest known production took place: it was the 1983-84 junior play at Duke High School, and Teresa Summers spanked Linda Benevides.

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Can you imagine what she’s going to be getting offstage?

Photographer of the Week: Qumma

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Qumma is the soubriquet of the Helsinki art photographer Rami Talja. His preferred subject matter includes a bit of fashion and a bit of dance, often using imaginative imagery that shows composition with a painter’s eye:

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But he mainly shoots fetish, some of it juxtaposing beauty with gruesomeness.

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His portfolio contains a lot of bondage, which is his particular pleasure, but there’s also a bit of spanking. The latter shows a clear learning curve as the poses and composition develop across the three known sessions. Here’s the earliest:

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Here the girl being spanked keeps her feet on the floor simply because to do otherwise would risk a catastrophe: the spanker’s sitting on such a high chair that balance is an issue. That problem was fixed for the next shoot, which featured models Lorelai Blue…

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… and Natte:

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This was mainly a bondage shoot in which Natte spent a lot of time dangling by ropes from the ceiling of the dingy warehouse. But when she was down, it was time for Lorelai to show who was on top:

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But better still:

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But Qumma did even better than that in a 2016 shoot with burlesque dancer who works under the improbable name of Kiss Kiss Forbid’n:

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Here she is meeting a male model who seems a little shy:

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In the course of the shoot, she progressively lost her clothes.

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And her fate was recorded in Qumma’s finest spanking shot to date:

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If you are interested in Qumma’s work, please visit his online portfolio.