Spank the Lead Singer

Over the years, many a rock band has adopted an (ahem) interesting name. From Michigan, for instance, there’s:

01 Spanking Monica

If that’s Monica, then I’d be happy to see her get a spanking… but in a lucky escape for her, the group turns out to be an all-male affair.

Then there’s the French garage band called…

02 Fessee 2009 album

They have the advantage of two female vocalists, Mathilde Mallen and Laura Mannelli…

03 Fessee

… neither of whom have been called upon to undergo la fessée for the sake of the band.

Over in Texas, a state with a long Spanish heritage, we have:

04 Nalgadas

They’re all-male too, but at least they’ve made an effort to reflect their name in their publicity:

05 Nalgadas

But we have to return to the vernacular to find the band that has tried the hardest…

Spank was formed a couple of years ago in Fort Lauderdale to play a repertoire of cover versions of rock classics. The name’s a metaphor: ‘spanking’ is how their founder Kevin Doolittle describes the kind of impact they want their music to make on the audience. ‘What did you think he meant by spanking?’ says their website. ‘Get your mind out of the gutter!’

But actually the gutter, if that’s where it is, seems to be a pretty good place for a rock’n’roll party, and the audience at a Spank concert may well find itself supplied with some prompts:


Now to show you what they’re used for:


There’s an instruction there, and a request. The one is often obeyed…


… and the other granted, more or less:

12131415Spank the Band Tara smacks Stefanija


Knowing a good thing when they saw it, the band ran an audience competition for the best ‘Bottoms up’ photo. It was won by Jennifer here…

18 Jennifer Campbell

… with a little help from her friend Lisa:

19 Jennifer Campbell & Lisa Wise

Her prize wasn’t a public spanking, you may be sorry to hear, but on occasion a lucky audience member did bend over on stage:


And there’s the chance to get even luckier, because Spank always has a lady lead singer. In 2015, it was Jennifer Grier:

21 Jennifer Grier

More recently, her place was taken by Ariel Bartolo-Kira:

Spank the Band Ariel Bartolo-Kira 1

And if you’re in the right place at the right time, then maybe, just maybe…


It must be said that, for purists, Spank hasn’t yet managed to offer any proper spanking imagery. They can hardly be said to be alone in being discouraged by the sheer sublime complexity of OTK, but who knows, maybe there is still hope of seeing Jennifer or Ariel in an (ahem) interesting position. And in the meantime, if you are even a fraction as interested in Spank as you probably are in spanking, please visit their website.

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