Smack Rock

How unsafe are rock concerts?

I’m not talking about the major risks that we all hope will never happen, like a collapsing stage or an overfull auditorium. I mean, how safe are a girl’s glutes at a gig?

Take it from one band member to another. Here are the girl group the Saturdays, performing in 2012, and Frankie Bridge has something for her fellow singer Mollie King:

Back in 2005, the Polish rapper Liroy was appearing with his girlfriend, Joanna Krochmalska:

And continuing eastward, here’s Russian singer Sergey Lazarev in 2007, dealing with one of the dancers in his show:

And sometimes the dancers smack the star, too, as Jennifer Lopez found out in 2014:

But whatever might happen to those onstage, a girl can feel safe if she’s just there to enjoy the music, can’t she? Though she might be taking a bit of a risk if the music comes from Spanks, a Floridan band not to be confused with the Floridan band Spank – there’s one letter difference, guys! The logo on the Spanks drumkit might be taken as a warning:

And if there should be a birthday girl in the audience…

But it’s all in fun, of course – even when the drumsticks come out! In truth, a girl can expect her bottom to be as safe at a rock concert as it is anywhere else. Unless, of course, she’s been really naughty:

And if her friend has been even naughtier…

In other words, girls, enjoy the music, and be good!

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