The Historic Journeys of Santa Claus: 2016

‘Be naughty – save Santa the trip’ is one piece of wry advice proffered around this time of year. What that doesn’t take into consideration is that Santa does have to take a trip to deal with the girls who wound up on the naughty list, and in 2016 an outbreak of Antipodean naughtiness, combined with the inconvenient position of the International Date Line, meant he had to begin a whole hemisphere away from his North Pole HQ of Solitude. Perhaps that extra-long trip, just in order to make a start, accounts for why the first naughty list spanking of the year was administered by an unusual and rather angry Santa in Tauranga, New Zealand:

robbie-cancian-2016

Unless of course that’s one of those unauthorized Santa impersonators we encounter from time to time, whose fates will be shown later on…

At least there was a fair amount for him to do in the Antipodes. His next stop was in Queensland, Australia, to pay a call on Lola La Monde:

lola-la-monde-2016-photo-by-mike-urban

Down to Sydney, where Helena deserved an extra-large spanking:

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Whereas the naughtiness wasn’t quite so serious at Wollongong:

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In contrast, something sterner than usual was required over in Perth:

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Also in Western Australia, there were no presents for Ashlee:

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After another intercontinental sleigh-ride, Santa arrived in Siberia:

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Next stop, St Petersburg, where pin-up model Anastasia Rest had been naughty:

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While he was there, Santa had another call to pay:

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And on to Poland:

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In Munich, showgirl and make-up artist Kathi Fox was in trouble:

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Munich was also the scene of an encounter for Autumn Rose, a naughty girl who had traveled all the way from Washington State to escape her fate. Maybe going to Bavaria wasn’t such a good idea, bearing in mind that it’s the home of Santa’s scariest helper, the Krampus…

2016-munich

According to her, ‘spankings from Krampus hurt!’ And it seems that Bonnie, a little further east in Bad Goisern, Austria, had reason to agree:

In Porsgrunn, Norway, it was a happy Christmas for Santa, but possibly not for Anne Sofie:

lille-frekke-norway

In London’s Hyde Park, Gabriela got her bottom smacked:

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And, still in London, at the Latin Angel tattoo studio:

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Across the Atlantic now, to arrive at the New York offices of the exceedingly tatty Inked Magazine:

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And over at SHAG, a sexy shop in Brooklyn, a self-proclaimed feminist needed a good spanking on the seat of her self-proclaimed feminist panties:

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And stylist Liz had been equally naughty, but could think herself lucky…

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Lucky, that is, that the picture wasn’t taken a few moments later, after Santa got her pants down!

While Santa worked the east coast, the Krampus went directly to the Midwest. He had a big job on in Detroit:

2016-kia-in-detroit2016-nena-bianco-in-detroit2016-nena-bianco-in-detroit-22016-detroit

In New Carlisle, Indiana, he handed out a whacking in an Austrian cafe:

2016-mosers-austrian-cafe-in-new-carlisle-indiana

And on he went to Minneapolis to smack pinup model Christi Williams:

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Meanwhile, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania:

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And in Grove City:

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And now we move on to Tennessee. You remember those scandalous rumors that Santa’s really your dad? They’re not true, of course… But Amanda here found out that Santa is… her mom!

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Santa came to Alabama to put a bad girl over his knee:

Florida has a good claim to be considered one of the naughtiest states of the union. In Lealman, Liz found out that her name was on the naughty list:

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And in Fort Myers, Helene also had an appointment with jolly nemesis:

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Down in Fort Lauderdale, Eliane had it coming:

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In Miami, a concerted Santa-Krampus operation was in order for a naughty burlesque dancer:

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In Key West, Tricia was in trouble:

And before leaving Florida, Santa also had a little something for dancer Natasha Nova:

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Santa’s journey across America was a real zig-zag this year. His next call was in Chicago:

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Over to East Bethel, Minnesota:

Followed by some work in St Louis:

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In Oklahoma City, a cookie thief was caught in the act:

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In Austin, Texas, Melanie got a smacked bottom:

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There was a fair bit of naughtiness in San Antonio. Jackie needed smacking:

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So did Jade, but for some reason Santa delegated the task to her nearest and dearest:

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Ruby had obviously been bad, but both Santa and the Krampus were busy elsewhere, so her punishment fell to elf Katya:

2016-ruby-whacked-by-katya-in-la

And where was the Krampus? He was in Grand Junction, Colorado.

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Hmm, are we seeing double, or is there some skulduggery going on there? Stay tuned, all will be revealed later – and justice done to the imposter!

There was a whole lot of smacking going on at the Excalibur Hotel, Las Vegas:

2016-las-vegas-tessa-jenkyns2016-las-vegas-brianna-menard

In Duke City, New Mexico, this lady thought she was only posing for a Santa spanking picture, and was surprised when nine actual smacks landed on her derriere:

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And now Santa entered another uncommonly naughty state, California. His task began in Los Angeles:

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Meanwhile, there was a smack for actress Sara Montez:

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A fullscale spanking for Tiffany Yvonne Cox, also an actress:

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Another for Cielo Gibson:

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And Jenna Sativa was caught stealing gifts from a stocking. Very naughty!

2016-skin-diamond-spanks-jenna-sativa2016-stocking-thief

Next stop, Madera:

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In San Francisco, burlesque dancer Tashia Vango’s luck had run out:

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And still in San Francisco:

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Santa had some paddling to do in Portland, Oregon:

And he sicced the Krampus on cabaret performer Lady Stockholm:

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And still in Portland, there was a major outbreak of Krampus activity at the Delta Cafe:

And after all that, there can’t be much doubt that Oregon is also in with a chance for the title of Naughtiest State of the Union 2016!

In Seattle, Olivia had been just a little naughty:

2016-olivia-seattle

But such is the usual load in Seattle that Santa decided it was advisable to double up:

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Now to Spokane County, Washington:

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And in Vancouver, burlesque dancer Molly Malone was on the Krampus’ naughty list:

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And what about the year’s crop of unauthorized Santa impersonators? Just like Santa, they were found in many corners of the globe. In Mudgee, New South Wales:

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In Belfast, Northern Ireland, Sasha’s hat was a sure sign that she wasn’t the real Santa:

2016-sasha-in-belfast

And in Fresno, you might think Chelly Bean’s disguise shows she wasn’t really trying:

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But they only deserved smacked bottoms, not fullscale spankings – unlike the year’s naughtiest fake Santa, who was, of course, in Florida. To be precise, she was in Daytona Beach:

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And back in Grand Junction, the mystery of the extra Krampus was eventually solved, and the penalty was paid:

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Come back next year to follow Santa’s epic 2017 journey!

One thought on “The Historic Journeys of Santa Claus: 2016

  1. jimc says:

    quite a collection. I enjoy otk the best and you did have quite a few winners in that category. Loved all of your finds. Thank you for sharing them and have a great day. I look forfard to next years batch as well. Thanks again.
    Jim

    Like

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