The Life-Cycle of the Spicy Secretary

Starting a new job? Better get used to the office routine, especially if you live your life in the spicy humor magazines of the 1950s and ’60s.

Doing a good job will win you esteem and rewards. Not doing a good job will get you something different.

But then, you should be used to it, at least if you’re a well-brought-up girl from a good home.

Mom may have done more than prepare you with a good upbringing including regular attention across her knee; she may even have told you what to expect in the workplace… but she may have done it a little too elliptically.

Because, let’s face it, not every toon secretary will be the brightest intellect on the planet, and those who aren’t are likely to make mistakes. They may not have been adequately forewarned of the consequences.

Some training establishments do their best,

32 1960 Homer

but there’s one subject they may not have given enough attention: spelling, the other bane of the spicy secretary’s life.

The simple fact is that bad spelling will result in a good spanking – or two, if she’s unlucky!

Sometimes this instills the intended desire for self-improvement.

But some secretaries keep on being slack, and keep on getting smacked.

But of course good typing doesn’t only involve good spelling: there’s punctuation too.

But not all spicy secretaries even know the meaning of the word.

A look at the clock suggests that, in fact, she is late – or else that the spanking she’s getting has been going on for nearly half an hour! And she isn’t alone in her unpunctuality, or its picturesque consequences:

Occasionally a boss will even add another penalty on top,

29 1957 Herc Ficklen

though it remains a mystery how he expects her to sit at her typewriter to do her two hundred lines!

Some offices are even harder on latecomers:

And that second one raises another question: exactly who has the privilege of spanking the secretary? The boss himself, obviously.

And, in his absence, his deputy…

And, as he comes up to retirement, his successor…

But how far down the office hierarchy do spanking rights extend?

In some offices, it seems, there is no shortage of hands waiting for their chance to smack secretarial bottoms!

Some spicy secretaries face spanking as a routine hazard in the performance of their regular duties.

Elsewhere it’s a rarer occurrence,

maybe happening once a year,

or in the event of some technical failure:

homer-15

And some secretaries don’t get spanked at all, as the one on the left observes here:

28 1956 Dan de Carlo

The reason may be obvious there, but it isn’t always: take a look at this case of mistaken identity.

If she’s in the wrong office, then her own boss must be a non-spanking boss, which in her case is another unaccountable mystery!

How do the spicy secretaries themselves feel about this? We’ve seen some of them protesting, and here’s one who’s in tears afterwards:

The joke, I guess, is that the boss, despite his claim to be very experienced in such matters, is being obtuse in taking her natural response to a smarting bottom as a request for another spanking. But maybe not, because listen to this unspanked secretary berating her boss:

And here’s one who actually comes right out and asks for it,

though how we understand the joke depends on whether or not it’s a spanking office: maybe we are meant to think, ‘don’t worry, you will be spanked soon enough’, or perhaps the point is the same one that bubbles under many of these toons, that this isn’t really to do with office discipline so much as a sublimated form of sexual horseplay – with, just for once, a secretary who is knowing rather than naive.

And that brings us to another hazard for the spicy secretary, and also for her boss: the boss’s wife!

The wife’s dim view of office games often leads to unwelcome consequences for the secretary, even when those games are a lot more innocent than those we have been discussing.

So we can add someone else to the list of people who get to spank the spicy secretary,

though in such matters Mrs Boss, as an outsider in the office, may occasionally put a foot wrong, or rather the palm of her hand.

Perhaps she’d better remember that it’s not only spicy secretaries who get spanked, but also spicy wives! And any secretary with office romance in mind needs to keep that in mind too: a non-spanking eligible boss may not turn out to be a non-spanking husband.

Another thing a spicy secretary should remember: always wear pretty panties to work, because you never know when they may be on show. And because the consequences of not doing so may be unwelcome:

What’s more, there may be opportunities when your skirt is raised:

A raise for a raise? But if you get it, make sure you earn it, or you may earn something else:

And conversely, remember that a sound spanking isn’t the boss’s final sanction:

‘If I’ve done something, just fire me,’ says the secretary here. Well, maybe he’ll do that too…

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