Meet Nancy Stohlman.
She’s the lead singer of the Denver lounge metal band Kinky Mink, who in 2012 released a seasonal single in which Nancy confesses to Santa that she has been naughty all year, and encourages him to deal with her appropriately.
Now, before we listen to the song, it may be useful to give ourselves a little reminder of what Santa typically does with naughty girls.
They may find themselves being swept off their feet,
not always in an especially dignified way.
And they will usually feel the palm of Santa’s hand in a sensitive area.
But the naughtiest ones aren’t let off with anything so perfunctory and incidental as a mere smacked bottom; no, they go over Santa’s knee for a full-scale spanking.
So what, by rights, ought to happen to Nancy, who by her own admission has been naughty all year? She knows already, as you’re about to hear when we listen to ‘Tie Me Up for Christmas’:
In the course of the song she asks four times to be spanked, but she also asks four times to be tied up – so which is she going to get? Regrettably, this was how Santa obliged in the promo shoot:
Hmmm… maybe as the festive season comes round again, Kinky Mink should rerelease the song, this time with a video in which Santa really does spank her under the tree!
If you are interested in Kinky Mink’s music, please visit their website, but don’t go there expecting you’re going to see Nancy get a spanking, from Santa or anyone else!