You May Now Spank the Bride

It’s traditional for a wedding cake to have little figurines of the bride and groom on top, often standing formally together, or else enacting some romantic gesture. And from time to time, that romantic gesture is…

01

The figures are often cute and cartoony…

0203 Germantopper

… though occasionally they appeal to distinctive tastes…

04

Nor are they always entirely decorous:

05

Well, if a groom can’t spank his bride on her red panties, who can?

Some of the figures are individualized, obviously meant to represent the bride and groom of the particular wedding for which the cake topper was ordered. But even then the sculptors often recycle ideas and basic poses. You may already have noticed how often the spanker has an extended left leg, for instance; and notice also how the groom’s spanking arm in the last picture is reproduced in these two, even though each time the bride is clearly a different person:

06a06b

But sometimes the figurines are mass-produced and individually painted, like these two:

07a Italian07b

One piece that has been widely available in Europe in recent years is at the slightly risqué end of the spectrum.

08a

Each example shown here is a separate piece cast from the same mould, with slightly different colors and dressed with their own individual veils:

08b

However, in every example I’ve seen, the bride’s hair is always strawberry blonde…

08f

… and her panties are always white.

08dfigurine

One especially skillful painter has put some extra character into her eyes here:

08e

Does she seem at all familiar to you? Those rather unbridal sparkly boots might give you a clue…

08c

The sculptor drew his inspiration from an equally unbridal public spanking that happened in Kiev:

Activists of FEMEN, a Ukrainian women mo

The great FEMEN sexual harassment protest of 2009 – coming soon to a wedding cake near you!

And if you only want the cake, you could do worse than this one…

cake

3 thoughts on “You May Now Spank the Bride

      • Harry says:

        Sorry, Ann, I can’t help. The design is at least four years old and doesn’t seem to be offered any more on the sites that specialize in cake toppers; I guess even mass-produced items eventually cease to be available because the molds wear out. Since I couldn’t tell you what you wanted to know, I’ve updated the article to add two new pictures – not only a topper but also a rather attractive cake that looks as if it should be spanked rather than sliced.

        Like

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