The Historic Journeys of Santa Claus: 2018

It is an often overlooked fact that the majority of girls whom Santa deals with every year are nice.

2018 girl

But let’s face it, we’re mainly interested in the naughty ones!

Because what happens to girls who end up on the naughty list?

And here’s a truism we all know:

2018 panties

Yes, once again it’s time to follow Santa Claus on the 2018 iteration of his annual mission to administer spankings to the world’s legion of naughty girls. Or sometimes, for those who haven’t been quite as naughty, just smacked bottoms:

But it has to be said that this year, some girls were extraordinarily naughty:

We can see both extremes at the start of the trip: a smacking in Adelaide,

but a bare bottom spanking in Melbourne:

Santa now sleighed it up to Wallan, Victoria:

Still in Victoria, there was a temporary glitch in the sleigh tracker’s photographic facility, and one spanking had to be captured by a more labor-intensive method:

On to Sydney, where another fault seems to have developed, this time in the dimensional stabilizer of Santa’s sleigh:

It was fixed by the time he reached Brisbane, where there were a lot of naughty girls to spank:

Still in Queensland:

Across the frozen tundra now for a job in Perm, Russia:

On to Saratov:

And before leaving Russia:

One other Russian girl was so eager to avoid her date with Santa that she fled across the Atlantic. Did she escape? Wait and see!

Into Ukraine, and to Donetsk in particular:

On to Dnipro, where Santa caught up with the local naughty girl in a sauna:

And then up to Kharkov:

There’s a behind the scenes video:

Did you spot the cute moment when, just after getting into position, Kristina punctiliously twitches her skirt down?

But Santa had another Kharkov date with a naughty girl who wasn’t so lucky:

A bad girl in Belarus meant a spanking in Minsk:

And so to Latvia:

Next, Berlin beckoned:

The sleigh-cam fault returned just as Santa was dealing with a particularly high-profile lady…

Or did Frau Merkel’s security detail confiscate the pictures? Whatever the truth may be, the sleigh now turned south to Leipzig:

The birch was required again in Nuremberg:

Vienna also had some very naughty girls:

Down the Balkans now to Bulgaria:

Just to prove how difficult the geographical logistics are when you’re Santa, there followed a quick trip across the Mediterranean to Algeria:

And then the sleigh turned northward again, and headed for Italy:

Switzerland had a job in Schaffhausen:

And back into Germany, traveling north, from Konstanz…

to Kreuzau in North Rhine Westphalia:

Across the Channel to London:

Passing through Watford, the sleigh-tracker went on the blink again, but once again human talent filled the gap:

Up to Leeds:

Then on to the northeast of England:

And now we reach the next long trip for Santa’s sleigh, across the Atlantic. Landfall this year was in Massachusetts, where someone needed her panties paddled:

Down to New York:

Then New Jersey,

including an appointment in New Brunswick

Across to Ohio:

A bit of reindeer discipline became necessary in Cincinnati:

Down to Tennessee:

Georgia next:

In Savannah:

And Santa faced another full roster in Florida, which resumed its annual east-west rivalry with California in the Naughtiest State of the Union contest. He started in Orlando:

Then Pompano Beach,

Miami,

Plant City,

and lastly Tampa:

And while it’s a close-run thing in terms of quantity, when it comes to quality that has surely got to be one of the very best Santa spanking photos of the year!

Now the sleigh tracked along the gulf coast to New Orleans.

A slight problem there: that paddling was administered by a fake Santa! But she was quickly detected and dealt with:

How did she think she’d possibly get away with it? I mean, it’s easy enough to know the real Santa when you meet him… isn’t it?

So it looks as if whether the sleigh actually stopped at New Orleans will remain one of life’s enduring mysteries. Whereas the question that’s troubling the girls of Fort Worth, the next stop, is the more immediate and pressing one of ‘who’s next?’

Another very naughty girl in Texas also got what she deserved:

Now the sleigh turns northward to Oklahoma:

To Kansas City, Missouri:

St Louis:

And up to Chicago:

Over the border, Santa had calls in Toronto:

And it was also in Toronto that Santa finally caught up with a certain naughty Russian fugitive:

Across to British Columbia now, and in particular to Penticton.

And in Vancouver…

where the naughtiest girls gather at Sin City:

Southward now down the west coast, starting in Seattle:

In Renton, Washington, the inhabitants are never too old to learn, and to be spanked if they don’t…

There was some smacking in Spokane,

followed by a spanking:

And so to California, whose entry in the Santa spanking stakes began in Sacramento:

San Francisco made a more robust contribution:

So did Fresno:

In Los Angeles, model Tatiana Eriksen may have come to regret putting out the ‘Santa Stop Here’ sign:

But she wasn’t the only one in town Santa stopped for.

Finally, in San Diego:

So in the Florida v. California match, the scores stand at six spankings each, both ending with a truly excellent one. Looks like it’ll be up to the Krampus to be the tie-breaker…

Meanwhile Santa’s sleigh curled round east to Las Vegas, where it was another case of ‘Who’s next?’

Looks like it was her:

Followed by her:

On to Arizona:

In Scottsdale, Santa had to use both hands:

And in Tucson, someone had clearly been very, very naughty:

A girl in Denver had been plenty naughty too:

New Mexico next:

Followed by old Mexico,

where the sleigh-cam developed yet another fault, luckily just when Santa was spanking a graphic artist:

Maybe it’s just as well that was Santa’s last call of the year. But we still have the Krampus to consider, and this year he took a separate route across America, starting in Deerfield Beach, Florida.

The anti-Santa then rampaged up to New Jersey:

Over to Knoxville, Tennessee, to deal with three bad girls:

The Krampus is also traditionally kept busy in Detroit:

Over to Lombard, Illinois:

In Denver, Colorado:

And into California for a real Krampus-fest of spanking in San Diego:

And with those four spankings, California pulls decisively ahead of Florida…

Another traditional hub of Krampus activity is Portland, Oregon.

Now, it can’t have escaped your notice that this year there were a lot of Santas whose credentials were, to say the least, dubious, and despite what happened in New Orleans, many of them seem to have gotten away with it. But three more who didn’t were in New York,

Florida,

and Sacramento:

And that’s it for 2018. Join us next year for the sleigh-cam report on Santa’s 2019 voyage!

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